Kristin’s Brain Place

I understand that we don’t all want to have children. I understand that some of you opted to have too many children and think the life you made for yourself is too hard. I understand that you might have gone through pregnancy yourself and want to share every single constipation and ripped vagina story you have, as a sage to me in my current knocked up state. Well, I have a little hint to make me less likely to shove a fistful of IUD’s into your colon:Shut the fuck up for a second and debate whether or not I want to hear what you’re telling me. In that same zen-like contemplative silence, think really hard about how what you’re saying will come across.

This doesn’t apply to all of you. Anyone who has just made themselves available in case I have questions, anyone who has assuaged my fears about what I’m going through, and anyone who just outright had nice things or good hearted jokes-we’re fine. You know who you are, and you’ve been awesome.But most of the things people have had to say have struck me as odd at best, and downright mean at worst. A lot were made very innocently and with no intention of being given a second thought, but still-don’t say shit like that.

To anyone who doesn’t know, I’m 18 weeks (4 1/2 months) pregnant. For the health of your colon, I’ve decided to compile a few things to avoid saying to a pregnant woman.

#1. “Better you than me.”

Do I even need to explain? Did I walk up to you and say “Hey, I’m having a baby, why don’t you too? In fact, I think you should be forced to! Yay!” It goes back to the “If you don’t have something nice to say…” Why does someone feel the need to even express this sentiment? There is no use in telling this to someone, especially if they’ve just announced their pregnancy. The problem is that it treats pregnancy as if it’s an undesirable situation, like losing your job or some tragic venereal disease. “I have ghonaherpesyphilitus immuneo deficiency flesh eating bacterial disease and my boss said I’m fat. “Better you than me.” In my mind the words ‘I’m Pregnant’ just don’t carry the same dark misery as ‘My tit’s going to rot off.’ There’s no accounting for the fact that hey, I might have done this intentionally. But no matter what you think about pregnancy and children-it’s a mean fucking thing to say. It’s cruel. It carries a lack of compassion or even tact. And, at the end of the day, it makes me not want to associate with you. If this is how you react when I’m pregnant, it shows what you think about children. And if this is what you think about children, I don’t want you around mine. You can even not like children and we can be friends, but my friends have at least an ounce of tact and can shut their mouth instead of vomiting out some mean-spirited bile.

#2 “Why?”

Same as above. No one has to have or like children, but don’t force your feelings and opinions on me. I stand by all my friends who have made the decision not to have children, I’m fine with that. But don’t question my decision and make me feel like a tool for wanting to share this wonderful world with a child. Even worse? Don’t list the reasons you’ve decided to *not* have children to me lest I decide to rip your tongue out through your throat and choke you to death with it.

#3 Downplaying how much she’s showing, or how far she’s come so far in the pregnancy. 

This one is a little less rude as the rest, but still is not the friendliest thing to say. I get this mostly from women who have had 4 or 5 children when they ask to see how much I’m showing. I’ve gotten very self conscious about showing people for this reason: I’m growing a person inside of me, and I’m *very* excited about it. I’m so excited, I’m impatient. I don’t do well with waiting anyways and nine months is feeling like an eternity. For example, I’m the little kid who cried at Christmas because  the next one was so far away. So when people ask if I’m showing, I get very excited. My belly is finally starting to poke out, the tell-tale sign every pregnant woman waits for. It might only stick out the tiniest bit, but up until this point it’s been worry, nausea and sleeping. You haven’t gotten a chance to revel in being pregnant yet, and it’s finally here. When someone would ask, I would proudly show them how my stomach stuck out slightly. And when people respond with comments about how you’re not really showing yet? Yeah, kind of crushes that pride and excitement. I’m a small person, so it may look like I just have a little extra weight right now and I understand, but please-just smile and nod if nothing else. Let me have my pride and elation because unlike you, I’m only doing this once.

#4 Thanks, Mom, for saying it only looks like a beer belly.

Need I explain? I’ll file that one away with, “You know, you might consider a nose job one day, you’d be a good candidate for it.”

#5 Pictures of your C-sections

I do have some curiosity about C-sections, but let me make 2 things clear.

#1. NO ONE wants to see pictures of you with a grevious stomach wound. They especially don’t want to see pictures of someone with their hands in your stomach cavity yanking out a purple baby.

#2. I know some people won’t agree with me on this, but you don’t need pictures of your C-section. They serve no purpose and your children will  never want to look at them. Does anyone want to look at them? See Sub#1.

#6 “I’d tell you not to have children, but I guess it’s too late for that.”

This comes from someone very specific when their own kids are being screaming, hitting, fighting little brats. Like your kids being sugared up and out of control is a good reason for me not to have a child. I’m not ignorant, I know my child will have similar days, but if a child being a child ever makes me regret having them, shame on me.

#7 “You’ll see when you have kids.”

For the love of god, just let me fucking learn for myself already. Yeah, it’s not going to be all cupcakes and angel farts, but I don’t need a lecture on how my relationship with my dog is going to change when I have the baby. Have you considered that maybe, just maybe, I like my dog but it’s a….DOG!? Maybe if we don’t have ridiculous opinions about animals to begin with, they don’t have to change so much. And I realize that things will be different, have we not established that I’m not seven ways of fucktarded? Of course things are going to be different, a human life will depend solely on me. But at the same time, using the “Just wait till you have kids, then you’ll see” implies that I’m dimwitted and stupid for things that I currently hold important and dear. How is that helpful? Fuck yourself.

Honorable Mention
Let me tell you about my horrible birthing experience.
Let me tell you how my vagina ripped.
Let me tell you how my baby almost died
Let me tell you about all of my friend’s pregnancies
Let me laugh at you for trying to stay within the healthy weight gain range, instead of gaining 50 pounds

One more thing to keep in mind before I finish my rant-ask before you touch. Next person to run up and rub my stomach without asking is going to find out how much of their frontal lobe I can force their nose into. Just don’t touch people unless you know it’s okay, all right? Yeah, maybe it’s a personal space issue, but if you can’t see why rubbing someone might be considered rude, you have some issues of your own.

Now don’t get the wrong impression. So far, I’ve had a very easy, very happy pregnancy and can not wait for this December. But keep in mind-although these seem like obvious faux paus, I’ve heard them repeatedly. And if you think women in general can get angry, just wait till you piss off the wrong pregnant lady…

One quick note before bed:

I’m usually not one to get excited about games. I don’t keep up with the people that write them, I don’t rush out and buy them as soon as they hit the shelf, and generally-well, I don’t care. I love to play, but rarely does that require me buying the book. To prove my point-Mouseguard.  Anyone who knows me or listens to the show knows that I absolutely adore Burning Wheel as a system, to the point where very little can compare. However, when Mouseguard dropped…you guessed it. I didn’t really care.

I bring this up for one reason- I am fucking excited for David Hill’s  Maschine Zeit. There is just something about the game that captures the attention of the part of me that wants dark, sinister and forboding in a game. Somehow David managed to roll the dystopian future, ghost tales and heart-pounding exploration all into a single game. And to top it all off, he’s created the sexiest packaging I’ve ever seen for an RPG:

Yeah. It glows red when you use it.

So whether you want to play a money hungry miner, attention starved celebrity or man of god trying to lay the souls of the dead to rest, this game promises to keep you invested down every hallway and on every station.

For a better intro then my finger-words are capable of, check out the YouTube Maschine Zeit Promo, and keep your head to the ground for more videos.

Hi everyone (like people read my blog, but I accept that). I’m super stoked, today I submitted two games to run at Kubla. I know to most of you this doesn’t seem like a big deal, but I’ve never ran at an official “oh my god I don’t know any of you” convention. That, and I’ve been GM’ing on a non-regular basis for only a year now. In fact, if I had my shoes off I could probably count how many games I’ve ran on all of my little phalanges.

But I digress. And I like the word “phalanges”. I won’t lie, I’m pretty excited about running, so I thought I’d post the write ups I submitted here instead of trying to link to them. The first is for an octaNe game I have high hopes of running. The second is quite similar to the last post I made on my blog, but we’ll call it “con edit”. Enjoy!

Sinnin’ Never Tasted so Good-octaNe

You feared the worst when your debtor and small-time Kingpin of the West, Billy the Club, called it time to collect on your debt to him. The five other debtees seemed just as thrilled by the options presented to repay Billy as you did: protect Billy’s whiskey and cigarette trucks from the Pavement Snakes and most likely die, or die. Armed with small-time weapons, fast cars,cool shades, hot women and warm beer, you and 5 strangers set out down the lonely, dusty roads to Lost Vegas for the sake of the whiskey. But no matter where that road takes you, if you can’t remember the stops, you must of had a good time.

octaNe is best described in Jared Sorensen’s own words: “The psychotronic game of post-apocalyptic trash-culture America.” Sinnin’ is played using the Grindhouse option and focuses heavily on storytelling. With simple mechanics and a talent for flair and over-the-top awesomeness, octaNe captures everything that is good about bad cinema. Bring your bad junk food and get ready to tell a sexy and violent Grindhouse tale of bad whiskey, hot cars, and Rock N’ Roll.
This game contains mature themes.
Characters will be provided. CHAR:Provided LVLS:

6 Players, 4 hour slot

A Pale Horse-Dread

It’s final. It happened. The bomb’s gone off and civilization is not as it was. We had all passed it off as impossible, so nobody was ready. There was no good explanation why the survivors were just that, no reason why those who died from the dirty bombs didn’t live like the rest of you. The ensuing tidal waves, ravaging fires, and immobilizing dust storms took even more lives, as well as made the struggle of life that much more difficult.

In the end, four main factions arose and began to seize control of the power. Power, translated directly, are resources-food, water, and supplies. The more you control, the more people you can sustain, the more powerful you are. Water is about the rarest, with successfully reproducing women being a close second. Morals vary from clan to clan with group behavior being defined by the biggest, strongest, most brutal member. Suffice to say, three out of the four factions are not pleasant to cross.

You belong to the outlier of the four groups-The White Horse. The fortunate moral few found each other and managed to build a Horsemen faction to rival the others in strength and Power. Basing the community upon hard work and righteous, protective fury, the White Horse can hold it’s head high in a world of thieves, rapists, murderers and overlords.

You and your fellow players will be soldiers within this fourth faction. You serve bravely and with pride, but what will you do when the Brothers ask you to venture out on a potentially lethal mission? And what if the success of this mission could guarantee the White Horses survival, while damning all others to die?

Dread is a fairly simple to learn horror system, as there are no stats and the game is played using a Jenga tower instead of dice (knock the tower over and your character dies). Characters are generated via a questionnaire that will be answered before the game begins. Jenga emphasizes story telling and player initiative.
Characters will be provided.
Some mature themes. CHAR:Provided LVLS:Humans

7 player, 6 hour slot.

Please feel free to leave me comments on what you think!

 The Fight of the Four:
A Pale Horse

It’s final. It happened. The bomb’s gone off and civilization is not as it was. We had all passed it off as impossible, so nobody was ready. There was no good explanation why the survivors were just that, no reason why those who died from the dirty bombs didn’t live like the rest of you. The ensuing tidal waves, ravaging fires, and immobilizing dust storms took even more lives, as well as made the struggle of life that much more difficult.

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So I’ve been taking the most interesting story bits they throw into spam emails and posting them to Google Buzz because, like the only reason for most of the things that I do, it amuses me. Today, sadly, I had no good spam. So I made up some text! Enjoy:

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So I volunteered to run WoD.

So I haven’t read the book in a couple of years and remember none of the rules.

So all my players are brand new too, so we’ll just learn together.

Should be good.

Last night, we finished up characters and discussed the game a little. A quick run down if I can remember:

Jimbo-blue collar working man, the change essentially broke up his marriage and lost him his mill job. The quiet, honest worker of the group. Really feels duty bound as a werewolf, but can’t seem to hold his life (or a job) together beyond that. Storm Lord, Crescent Moon

Blake-Orphan kid, bounced from home to home constantly. Used to being a scrapper due to all the fighting in the homes. He never knew his family at all, including who they are. When his change came and he joined the pack, he reveled in it. He still enjoys being a werewolf more then human, and is fiercely devoted to his pack as they are the only family he’s ever known. Blood Talon, full Moon

Sebastian-Came from a blue collar family much like Jimbo’s.  He felt that working was the sucker’s way to exist, and became an expert thief. He does what he does less for the money anymore and more for the thrill. Becoming a werewolf has only made his B&E work more exciting and efficient. He is the thief extraordinaire, from houses to cars to internet thievery. Iron Masters, New Moon

Dezna-Dezna came from Scotland, the daughter of a very wealthy whore house owner.  He taught her about being a werewolf, and was there when she changed. She is the rich bitch of the group, and acts appropriately. She owns the house they congregate at in Oswego Lake, Oregon and probably funds most of their endeavors. Blood Talon, Half Moon

Corrie-Corrie grew up knowing what she would become. With mom being a diplomat and dad being a detective, it’s no wonder Corrie became a PI for matters mundane and supernatural. The pack finds their hands full with most of the problems Corrie uncovers. She watches out for her pack, but never hesitates to exert her dominance. She is a strong Alpha for the pack. Half moon, Storm Lord

Pack: Burning Moon

Location: Lake Oswego, Oregon

Topics for play: After discussion, the group expressed interest in themes of werewolves in an urban environment, incorporating Changeling and Hunters, dealing with other packs, and in general a very investigative game.

Cool. It’s a start.

They should have known that I was rotten

When they cut me from her womb

A babe cast down a well, forgotten

As she lay cooling in her tomb

They should have seen it coming sooner

With the Devil’s hand upon my shoulder
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Posting from the blackberry again, so let me know if there’s any problems.

4/17
I like country side and being out in a place that’s remote enough to not see the infringement of modern life. Places like wide open fields in the middle of nowhere, or being up on hill or mountain sides. There’s a different kind of peace in those places that I really enjoy.

4/18
Fishing makes me really happy. I don’t necessarily need to catch fish, I just like to hang out in a raft or on a bank with a small BBQ and someone I enjoy. I think it works as an excuse for me to just stop and hang out for a while, since what I’m “doing” requires I sit still for a while.

4/16

We’ve decided to pause our BW Deadwood game for a while, I think Shaun needs a break. Even knowing it was ending though, I was happy with our final session. I didn’t do anything particularly badass, but I completed a lot of big-drama things concerning my character. I like sessions where what I’m doing is important enough for me to lay everything my character has on the line. For example, I  was involved in a dual of wits with my character’s son that, if I had lost, my character might have been removed from the game. Also, I made a deal with a daemon we’ve been trying to get rid of for 3/4ths of the game.
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I might as well give up on trying to post daily, given my four month track record. However, I have posted one for every day this year, so bite me. A few things have gone on since I last posted. I’ve been without internet at the new apartment, and my laptop kind of finally maybe died. In addition to shutting itself off, the power button fell through the keyboard. So yeah, sans nets and sans laptop. Ah well, I have a couple of moments now so I’ll go ahead and post for the last couple of weeks.
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